No man wants “boring lover” on his dating resume. In order to help you avoid this horrible fate, we have compiled a list of the seven things women find boring in bed. Read on and learn what not to do if you want to keep ’em coming back for more.
1- Asking for permission
If you’ve been with a woman for long enough to know her body language and emotions, nothing quite ruins the mood like a formal request to proceed. You don’t need a legal team to draw up a waiver: A good lover knows how to let her know he’s in the mood and turn her on without resorting to robotic requests. Something as simple as an intense look or a certain touch is a much better way of going about it. That being said, consent is paramount for a trusting and passionate encounter.
If you’ve been together for a while, this can definitely be a problem. Part of the reason why things were so hot between you and her when you first got together was because you didn’t know what to expect. If you want to maintain a similar level of excitement months or even years down the road, you have to keep it fresh.
Don’t be afraid to try new things that you’ll both enjoy; never let it get to a point where she can anticipate your every move. For instance, if you usually spend five minutes on foreplay, spend 15 minutes next time and tease her mercilessly. She won’t know what hit her. And soon, neither will you.
3- Mechanical sex
Most women will agree that sex without passion is quite dull; no woman wants to be treated like a blow-up doll. We’re not saying that every sexual encounter has to be mind-blowing, it’s just that you should never ignore the fact that, no matter how cool she is, she’s still a woman who would like nothing more than to be treated as such. So be the lover of her dreams and make love to her at least once in a while.
4- Not going the extra mile
Although many women — as well as men — feel that they must be content with whatever sexual act they engage in with their partners, the truth is that they will eventually tire of a bare-bones routine. So, if you want to prevent her from tiring of you, you must put in a little extra effort every once in a while.
You guessed it: That means romance. The fact that most women don’t even expect this at this point in the devolution of dating is to your great advantage because if you are romantic every once in a while, she’ll wonder what distant planet you hail from and be all over you.
For instance, leave her love notes describing what you’d like her to do to you, what you’d like to do to her, and what she should slip into (or out of) while she anxiously awaits your return. Make her a romantic dinner for two, play some mood music and seduce her. Write her a song and make her melt. Make it about pleasing her next time and not only will she not be bored, she may just do anything to please you in return.
5- Same location
If your woman has memorized the cracks in your bedroom ceiling, you’re in trouble. But don’t worry, a simple change of location can fix this situation. Take it to the shower, the kitchen table, your car, a secluded beach, the woods — the possibilities are endless. Use your imagination and try not to get caught.
6- Too vocal or not vocal enough
Excessive grunting or repeating certain words can be just as tiresome as making no noise at all. So, try to find a comfortable medium that lets her know you’re enjoying yourself without letting the whole neighborhood know as well. The right choice of words can also be a turn-on for many women.
Telling her that what she’s doing feels amazing, that she looks hot, what you’d like to do to her, or have her do to you will go a long way in preventing the boredom from setting in.
7- Never experimenting
If you’ve been with a woman for a while, and want to keep each other turned on, you had better try some new positions, spill your fantasies, engage in role playing, and anything else that will serve to spice things up, or you risk breaking up out of sheer bedroom boredom.
Pour yourselves a glass of wine or two, talk about what turns you on, and you may just end up fulfilling these fantasies sooner than you think.
Avoid these seven bedroom blunders. But don’t stress — most women don’t have insane expectations, they just want to see you make the extra effort every once in a while.
Just remember that the opposite of boring is spontaneous and unexpected. So if you try to be the latter sometimes, you should never bore her in bed. Just make sure that you’re with a woman who’ll want nothing more than to please you in return.