A player is not someone who gets theirs and leaves a trail of broken hearts. A player is not someone who jumps from one shallow bed to the next. A player is that person who lives life like a legend, puts a woman into a passionate romance and works his job like he built the company. This player in particularly has covered the globe as a photojournalist. Camera in one hand and laptop in the other, I’ve seen the best and the worst across time zones and international waters. In these travels, the foundations of how to play have been learned.
I once fell for a girl in Montreal. It was a whirlwind romance and I truly was crazy in love. Whether under the Canadian northern lights or wherever it may be, every player has experienced the insanity of love. But what about the true nutjob who is not filled with crazed passion, but plain ol’ craziness? The psychologically unstable are out there, looking and waiting for the next nightmare date.
While a player may be trained in building confidence and learning how to talk to the finer sex, very few aspects of a Player’s repertoire are designed to deal with unpredictable and psychotic behavior. If love is war, how can you win against an opponent who has no rules? What begins as a typical Player encounter turns into an experience from hell as the red flags begin to rise: You’ve got a psycho.
What makes a psycho? It is a term that gets thrown around quite a bit in the world of relationships. However, we’re not talking about a woman who is difficult or makes a Player raise his game. The psycho we’re discussing is a force of nature that breeds chaos, misunderstanding and insanity. Things begin normal as any dating does. But soon after, events begin to turn for the worse. She desires too much information about you far too fast. Her emotions ricochet from wild, joyous passion to utmost sorrow. Whatever the psychosis, this woman is not someone you need to stay with no matter how good she is when she’s happy or in the bedroom. It is time to cut ties, but in the sense of a true Player, as a gentleman and with respect.
Knowing the signs of a psycho is knowledge well-earned and even better used. Learn them now through reading rather than experience. If you step on any of these relationship landmines, extricate yourself with speed, style and grace.
There is a difference between a woman who likes to talk, text and e-mail, and a woman who requires an unhealthy amount of contact. Constant communication does not refer to someone who may be clingy. A dating psycho will appear starved and nearly dying for some level of interaction. If you two have not communicated in the last 15 minutes, she is nearing emotional meltdown. This red flag unfortunately appears after the first date, when she has worked her way into your life somehow. Your life goes from a romantic comedy to an erotic film to a horror thriller. Your voice mail box is full every day. Your e-mail quota is exceeded every hour. You’re out on lunch with co-workers and she happens to bump into you. Her communication starts with, “Hey, it’s me,” “Guess who?” and slides down the psychosis hole into, “You’re not ignoring me, are you?”“Why are you doing this?” and, “You’ll see what happens when I’m ignored!”
How do you escape the barrage of communiques? Dealing with the communication attacks head-on is a mistake. Pointing out her psychotic behavior will not shut down the activity but will escalate it. She will feel like a woman scorned. Move with speed to shut it down quickly and decisively. Make a clean break and let her know that the relationship (even if there has not been enough time to have one) is over and that communicating is done as well. Do not fall for any of her attempts, especially sexual ones, to get back into your life. There can be no chance for misinterpretation. Separate with respect by not giving in to insult and name-calling. If she tries to contact you again, do not respond and let the fire die out from lack of fuel.
Yo-yos make great toys. They make terrible relationships. One moment, she is full of laughter and vitality. The next second, she is weeping her eyes out and overcome by misery. Any little bit of change in the day can cause her to react (or overreact) with a tornado of unnecessary emotions.